Sunday, August 17, 2014

The countdown has begun!

Well friends, the countdown has officially begun! I returned home last night from a super fun trip in KY for mk and reality has sunk in 110%! We leave in 16 days for the scope that we have been waiting almost 3 years to the day for! Is Preston's airway ready to allow him to breathe on his own??? I have been so stressed out and emotional the past 2 weeks regarding this trip. Could not stop crying for several reasons. Then I woke up the other morning and sent a text to 2 girlfriends who I knew would pray for me. One of them reminded (after sharing how scared I was) that "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Tim 1:7 Then I read another devotion from Jesus Calling and had a 'clouds parted' experience. A huge wave of peace came over me and I realized that SPEAKING the words "well he might have to have the surgery but we aren't sure yet" was not what I needed to be verbalizing everytime someone asked what the trip involved or what was going to happen. So instead, we are speaking and believing the surgery is not going to be necessary and we will come home with the trach and capping trials will begin (a weaning process to get the trach out in months to follow). Yes, it sounds nuts that we would prefer him to come home with the trach but this surgery is REALLY REALLY rough and he would be sedated for a week and I want to spare his little body all of that if we can avoid it.  His breathing is amazing us everyday- we hear him taking breaths all on his own via mouth and he wears the speaking valve for periods at a time. The results are not in our hands so I am ready to see what God has in store for us. I am welcoming whatever the results are after the scope on Sept 2nd with OPEN ARMS. What other choice do I have? Continuing to be a bundle of nerves is not what God wants for us. Still doesn't mean I don't have moments of anxiety, fear, worry, sadness etc but I am comforted knowing we have not been left behind thus far so we are in great hands and what is meant to be will happen. I think some of my concerns revolve around being alone on this trip. Tim is ALWAYS with me. That is a huge amount of support that I NEVER take forgranted anymore. The school year and coaching season are both off to a FANTASTIC start and I am so glad Tim will be here for Reid every night. Reid lately has been asking Tim to sing this song at bedtime that Tim sang in church camp growing up (sorry I just outed you Tim) and usually I am the one who Reid prefers at night to sing a song or tickle his back. Well I don't know this specific song (yet :)) so Tim is the one Reid wants when its time to go to sleep. This little transition is confirmation that Tim is suppose to be the one staying home with Reid so he can keep up this routine and comfort him at night. I have no doubt Reid will be longing for his brother and Ms Jess (and maybe me) sooner rather than later. 

I didn't realize until I looked at some old baby albums that we found out on Sept 7th 2012 when the boys were just 10 months old that Preston would have his trach till approx 3 years old. We processed the news and believed Preston would surprise us. Well, its safe to say he has surprised us MANY times but not for the one thing we hoped for. The trach is still in and not years later we are actually thankful. Sounds crazy again but this past year has been filled so many INCREDIBLE things and AMAZING relationships built and NEEDED PERSONAL GROWTH (for me mainly;)) all because he is not trach free.  

So I come to you tonight asking for prayers that our travels are safe on Sept 2nd and no complications arise while flying alone with Preston. We plan on settling in to the Ronald McDonald House that day. I will pack a travel bag and head to the hospital with Preston the next morning and he will be in the O.R. on Sept 3rd for a full scope of his airway. Not sure of the plan after that. I know we will be inpatient for at least 4-6 days (not looking forward to that one bit). The plan will all be based on what they see and how much more room his airway now has due to tonsils and adnoids OUT and everything is healed. 

I hope everyone had a fantastic summer and the school year is off to a wonderful start! Hard to believe our pool days have come to an end. My next update will be once we arrive in Cincy! Stay tuned...........


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