Why?

This is a question we have been asking all weekend and especially today as we had to unfortunately cancel Preston's trip to Cincinnati for his bronch (and 3rd final opinion of his airway). We were scheduled to fly out tomorrow at 7am. He has been super sick since late Friday, went to urgent care Saturday with a 102 fever, and due to his right closed ear issues, he really shouldn't fly with his ear infection. After discussing the options with his dr in Cincinnati on Sat and following his advice, we waited all day today to see if he was going to turn the corner in a major way in order to go. It just didn't happen. We felt like we were forcing it to happen and in our gut we knew we should cancel our flights and go when he is 110% healthy. I can't even begin to explain how disappointing this is on so many levels. :( As much as I would like to be really positive right now and say I feel like this is God's plan even though we may never know why (and I do believe this), I am having a minor pity party. Okay, major pity party. Buckets of tears were shed when I dug myself out of denial and we made the call to cancel his surgery and cancelled flights. I am not trying to be dramatic but I know this trip was going to give us LONG AWAITED answers and I would do just about ANYTHING to get them! We are longing for normalcy for Preston and our family in a MAJOR way and I know this trip will give us a timeline for that. I know it could be MUCH worse and I always try to look on the bright side with situations thrown our way but this time it's harder. We were all packed which took alot of strategy and time with all of P's equipment, had arrangements all set for Reid (which got rearranged twice due to my mom becoming really sick), had nursing for the next 2 1/2 days/nights CANCELLED and I had cleared my work schedule completely b/c we thought we were going to be gone. So, we are working on new arrangements for the week (I am determined to make this a GREAT week starting tomorrow :)) but I still just want to know WHY! I plan to call the hospital tomorrow and get Preston back on the operating schedule ASAP with Dr Rutter and rebook our trip and we will go from there. I can't THANK YOU all enough for the kind thoughts, prayers, and words of encouragement regarding this trip. I even received lots of wonderful cards from friends in the mail wishing us a great trip and keeping us in their prayers. WE SURE ARE BLESSED EVEN WHEN THINGS SEEM TO FALL DOWN AROUND US SOMETIMES!

On a very positive note.....despite the sickies we dealt with all weekend, our favorite night nurse and Reid's babysitter came over so Tim could take me out Saturday night for a wonderful Birthday dinner/coffee/dessert date to celebrate. It was an evening that reminded me how GRATEFUL I am to have Tim as my partner through this journey. It is stressful and could pull us apart in a split second if we let it. We REFUSE to let this circumstance do that to us! So Tim made sure our date night and my birthday celebration still happened (he insisted i get out of the house for a few hours since I wanted to stay home) and it was just what we BOTH needed! I will be posting the NEW travel date hopefully tomorrow!