Wednesday, July 31, 2013

"Best Laid Plans"

I am back, Lorna promised me that some of you may be excited that I am writing the post tonight. I wish it was from the comfort of our own home. Unfortunately, that did not come to fruition. P went in for the scope and it took a little longer than usual. Lorna and I were sitting thinking, this is longer than usual. Come to find out, not so good news. P's airway is really pissed, as the doctor put it. The lower section looks great, which is where they did the anterior (front) graft. The upper airway is too swollen still to see it clearly. She believes the stint, abscess, and overall tenderness of the area are all factors. She said she could almost see it swelling as she probed. He goes back in next week for another scope  and probably the week after for another. They have to be able to see the posterior (back) grafts to see if the surgery was a success. 

What does this mean for us? Good question. I am staying here until Tuesday and then flying home. I have to get back because the summer party, and I use that loosely, must come to an end. School kicks back into full swing and I get to train 100 of BVN's finest to welcome our 9th graders. The next week I do the welcoming and then school. I hate to leave, but I have to. There is no way I can be away and get the school started off right. The other fact is that my students, who have emotional disabilities, do not cope with change well. So the less stress at the beginning of school for them the better. I can handle the stress, after all that is why God invented alcohol. :) It also means I finally get to see the Reidster! Super pumped about that part. Lorna will stay here with P, but her parents will be joining her for the duration to help out. It will be good for her to have them here. We are so fortunate to have their help and support since I have to leave. 

Reflection time: I am working in a new class this year, senior English. I thought I should maybe read some of the books that they are required to read so I can get ahead. Yes, I can read. I have read one of the two books, and find it most appropriate at this time. I read "Brave New World", which was really good overall and I have to say is hitting home. It takes in a future society where everything is made in assembly style, Ford style (who they consider God). There are no emotions other than happiness and they do not believe in a spiritual God. At the end there are lots of questions directed at a Native American, who is not part of the rest of this new society, about this God in whom he believes. I have to say that his conviction to adhere to his belief was truly amazing. I do not think that one can go through something like this and not question, any sort of spiritual presences. I read posts of others, for whom i have great admiration, who are struggling with life threatening illness and they are true and strong. 

Just to say it, today sucked. Nothing is more humbling than moving back into the room at RMH after already having the car packed. We are down but not out. We know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. The surgeon who saved Preston's life said there was some altering guidance that day and I know there is something to be learned from this. If anything it is so that the world can see his smiling face, he smiles all the time. He is the happiest kid in the world and even says thank you and blows kisses while crying in the hospital. Even though he is nonverbal, he lights up a room with his personality. So it is that that keeps me believing, knowing he was placed here for everyone to enjoy that smile. His smile is unwavering and that is what we will be with our belief. I leave you with that tonight, a picture of the most perfect unwavering smile.

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